is life always better when we’re looking back on it?

Hello hello hello! Unfortunately, this blog has not seen the light of day in much longer than I intended (whoops) but I am back!!! This post’s topic is just as the title says: is life always better when we’re looking back on it?

Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my gap year in Taiwan and I finally (6 weeks after coming home) forced myself to create the photo album that I had been saying I would make for months. It wasn’t nearly as much work as I’d made it out to be in my head; perhaps “but it will take so much time!” was just the narrative I was telling myself so that I wouldn’t have to face the flood of memories and see the “amazing and perfect beautiful life” I had left abroad. Sorting through the pictures of colorfully lit night markets and exciting excursions with friends and ear-to-ear smiles, I felt my heart sinking just a little as I looked up from the screen and realized I was nowhere “special” anymore, just home for the summer with no grand plans. In my head, the 8 months that I’d lived in Taiwan had turned into the epitome of joy, and nothing else could top it.

And then, a realization hit: Even when I was living in Taiwan, I did my fair share of looking back with rose-tinted glasses — I missed the carefree summer I’d just lived, my family, friends from home, and having more open green spaces as opposed to the densely packed city of Taipei. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my time there. But like anything in life, it had its hard moments too. So why is it that, looking back now, all those hard parts seem to have vanished from memory?

Reflecting on this thinking pattern a little more, I started to realize that at so many points in my life, I had missed what was right in front of me because I was looking back — comparing the present to a past I’d likely idealized. Of course, nostalgia has its place. It’s a gift that helps us remember all the good of our experiences, often without the clutter of the minor inconveniences we dealt with at the time. At the same time, when we make the past up to be better than it was, we forget to be grateful for a lot of things happening now.

I think the key is balance. Every stage of life comes with both the ups and the downs. If we can stop focusing only on the past’s highlights and the present’s difficulties, and instead acknowledge the full picture in both, maybe it’s easier to be a little more present. My life in Taiwan was exciting, fun, and full of adventure. It was also unpredictable, overwhelming, and sometimes lonely. Now that I’m home, my days may not be packed with nonstop adventure, but there’s comfort and stability, and I’m learning to be grateful for that, too.

I recently saw a quote that read: “There is a version of yourself 10 years from now that is begging THIS version of yourself to enjoy where you currently are just a little bit more.” I guess, in a nutshell, that’s all that I’m trying to say. Every chapter of life is special, if you allow it to be. You only get to live this moment once. Sure, you can always frame the past as better — but by that same power, you can choose to frame the present as such, too. It’s just a matter of where you look.